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Love and other corny shit.

Fri, 11 May 2012 17:51:43 -0400

Let me open up by saying nobody should ever try to trash anybody else’s belief system unless they are asking for it by trashing yours. Everybody keep your fingers out of everybody else’s poop. KAY?

Hello, kids. Today, we’re going to talk about LOVE. Everyone stop groaning. I got into a little bit of a tiff with a friend of mine earlier about love, and unsurprisingly, I got the angries. Got ‘em all over. Here is a direct quote from the person in question: “Love is poison. The more people you love, the weaker you are.” This caused an immediate “whiggidy what?!” to rise out of me. In my past experience, loving and being loved by folks has been my principle motivation to keep on keepin’ on more than a few times in my life.

She said that when I was older, I would know she was right. I said that was bullshit and I don’t like being condescended to. I DIGRESS. WITH FERVOR.

What I had essentially implied to her at this point was that I felt there was no point in livin’ if you thought that. Maybe if you were a nihilist and you wished only to experience carnal pleasure? Or if you were very religious and spiritual and you gained fulfillment through conducting yourself in a certain way. I can get behind that, because what my friend didn’t know, is I am sort of that way about stuff like this.

My two firmest beliefs are 1: Don’t kill spiders. Why would you do that? Because they’re gross? Fucking grow up. YOUR ATTITUDE IS GROSS. 2: Love is good shit. I feel it has been the means and the ends justifying them for a majority of my years. And I don’t just mean romantic love either. The love of my family, of my friends, of myself and the love I feel for many things and people in this crazy world. The love I want and the love I have. It all drives me and I think it drives others more than they realize! Especially that scrub I was arguing with.

In this sense, I sort of feel that love and positivity and hope and all that fruity stuff has served as a “religion” of sorts for years. Maybe that’s why I get so mad about it when someone tells me I’m just young and idealistic (which I am, but that is neither here nor there.)

So anyways, don’t go telling me the world is a shithole because I know. But as we can learn from Stephen Crane’s “The Open Boat,” the only solace we can find in the indifference of nature is our kindness and care for each other. Now, everybody hug. HUG.

I will fucking find you if you don’t hug.

Photo

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 07:33:27 -0400

Strangers on the internet

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 01:18:50 -0400

I have a couple rules in regards to strangers on the internet. My first rule is don’t fall in love with them (lookin’ at you, everyone ever who has ever done anything I’ve liked.)

My second rule is to not get mad at the shitheads. This sounds a little holier-than-thou, but you can scarcely argue that the internet (my stalking victims aside) is not a gaggle of shitheads. Maybe there’s some more appropriate collective noun. A sewer of shitheads? A tumor of shitheads? I digress.

Maybe it’s too strong a word. “Jerk” is almost affectionate. Let’s go with that. We’re all jerks. It’s funny that I decided to change the word because after all, my rant is first and foremost about semantics (maybe you don’t think it’s funny. I don’t have to prove anything to you jerks).

While the world at large is densely populated by what I would call “the semantically challenged,” they seem to be concentrated into particularly thick pockets in the comments section of youtube videos. Looking at youtube videos is an amateurish error to make for someone trying not to hate strangers on the internet.

I’m not hating on people who use terrible spelling or grammar. That’s not what I mean. You can say your “ur’s” and every flavor of “your” inappropriately all you want and the worst I’ll do is quietly sigh.

What gets me is this: people who don’t know how to state their opinion in way that doesn’t imply that they know best. Example: “this band sucks” vs. “I hate this band.” If you opt for the latter response, bravo to you, sir, but there is still an additional step for those of us who think that strangers on the internet want to hear our voices on such matters (ha! me!).

I was looking at a music video for a band I like, and someone said “boy, I just can’t get into this band but I think they are cool,” and I was like “I am really down with how he said that.” Then he went on to say “my advice is blah blah blah.”

Your advice? For the band that already is successful and already has a lot of fans and probably doesn’t read their youtube comments all that often? Please, do tell us.

I don’t mean to be condescending (okay, I do) but come on. I see this all the time (I read youtube comments all the time because I hate myself). It seems like a simple enough mental connection to make. That don’t have that little voice in their head that says “who cares!” whenever they’re about to post something to a public forum.

On that note, my “who cares!” sense must have been awfully numb today. I’ve been meaning to write more and stupid rants are easy enough.

Datin' tips

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:49:27 -0400

Fill your jacket with spiders, rats and snakes. If there’s a lull in the conversation, let one loose and kill it. You’ll get that “my hero” effect, and you can just keep flingin’ ‘em out and murdering them while your date’s attraction to you multiplies.

Plans

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:45:04 -0400

I’d like to have super powers by the time I’m 25, rule the world by the time I’m 30, and have been assassinated by the time I’m 40.

I’ve decided I don’t post enough. So, for all you...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 03:23:03 -0400

I’ve decided I don’t post enough. So, for all you few but incredibly good-looking people that follow me: here is an eel.

toddstatus: hannahlives: Literally every night. Oh. My. God....

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 03:14:57 -0400

toddstatus:

hannahlives:

Literally every night.

Oh. My. God. Yes.

Photo

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 20:03:49 -0400

cordisre: Peacock Salticidae (by melieli)

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 02:03:54 -0400

cordisre:

Peacock Salticidae (by melieli)

ashwara: One thing you must never lose is courage.

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 01:45:22 -0400

ashwara:

One thing you must never lose is courage.

twisting: lookingfortheupsides: radio-monster: mind-fuckery: ...

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 12:47:28 -0400

twisting:

lookingfortheupsides:

radio-monster:

mind-fuckery:

sstarshiprangerr:

FOR SMASHING THE LIFE OUT OF YOU, YOU DEMON FROM HELL.

douggg

Mike this is for you.

Datin' tips

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 00:09:16 -0400

Sneak up on the object of your affection and steal their wallet. Then, replace it with a note with your phone number and some x’s and o’s. Keep buying things with their credit card until they call you.

Out of context sentence of the day:

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 00:04:29 -0400

“Now I’m not saying people with breast cancer are stupid…”

Photo

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 23:56:35 -0400

urhajos: ‘Introversion’ by Matt Dixon

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 17:39:58 -0400

urhajos:

‘Introversion’ by Matt Dixon

Photo

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 16:29:38 -0400

lesfemmefatale: The most accurate GPOYW that ever was.

Thu, 12 May 2011 17:48:39 -0400

lesfemmefatale:

The most accurate GPOYW that ever was.

Datin' tips

Thu, 12 May 2011 12:59:00 -0400

1. Find a genie.

2. Wish it would go out with you.

Datin' tips

Thu, 05 May 2011 04:10:00 -0400

Present yourself as a secret admirer. Lead them on a scavenger hunt to find out who you are. When you finally meet, chase them around screaming YOU MADE THIS BED NOW LIE IN IT!

Photo

Tue, 03 May 2011 20:35:17 -0400